


No One Is Stalking Captain America (Except Bucky)

by Eternal_Love_Song



Series: Villains Out Shopping [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Amora Has No Drama, Bucky Did Not Ask For This, Bucky is a stalker, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Loki Does What He Wants, M/M, Punch Clock Villains, Teasing, Tony Being Tony, Villains As People, villains out shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 01:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4858373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternal_Love_Song/pseuds/Eternal_Love_Song
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki fights the Avengers!<br/>--Or--<br/>In Which Bucky does not have a crush, sniping does not equate to conversation, and Amora is not involved in your drama, but she will tell you about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One Is Stalking Captain America (Except Bucky)

**Author's Note:**

> I really wasn't planning on writing more, but the little ideas grow the fastest. So... here you go!

"You should just talk to him," Amora said. She was leaning against the edge of the building as she filed her nails, utterly ignoring the sounds of mayhem and destruction around her.

Bucky was kneeling beside her, hiding himself behind the roof ledge while aiming his gun. "I can't just talk to him! I don't even know him!" He argued. He took aim at one of the Dombots below, blowing it up before it could land a sneak hit on Captain America. The man turned quickly at the sound and Bucky ducked down again in case the man decided to look up.

"You said he was your partner or something, right?" Amora asked.

"Yeah, during the war. That was like... decades ago. And I don't even know if that stuff's true." Bucky argued.

"He liked you enough to try to talk to you while you were punching him in the face. You were probably pretty close." Amora held up her hand, inspecting her nails before moving on to file the other.

"That just makes him a crazy person, not a friend," Bucky said. He peered over the ledge again, watching the battle as it unfolded below. Loki was antagonizing Thor, dodging arrows in time to make them almost hit Black Widow who was trying to approach him from behind. Captain America and Iron Man were fighting Doombots back to back as the Falcon gave them air support.

"You're just as bad as Loki," Amora told him.

"I am not!"

"No, you're right. You're worse! You won't even talk him. At least Loki speaks to Thor, even if it is in a purely antagonistic fashion."

"I don't even know the guy!"

"So you keep saying."

"I'm saying it because it's true." Bucky growled. He shot a few more Doombots that were getting too close to Captain America, grinding his teeth when he saw the man turn to thank Iron Man.

"So he's important enough to hide on top of building and snipe for him, but not important enough to talk to him?" Amora asked derisively, giving Bucky a pointed look.

Bucky put down his weapon to glare at her. "What do you want me to say to the guy. 'Hi, I have no idea who you are, but I think we might be friends.' That sounds insane."

"Then you'll match," Amora snapped back. "It's better than moping around and constantly babbling about--"

"I do not babble!" Bucky yelled.

"Whatever," Amora huffed, slumping down against the ledge again.

Bucky glared at her a moment longer before looking down at the battle again. Captain America was charging what looked to be the real Doom, moving out of Bucky's sights. "Dammit." He grabbed Amora's arm. "We gotta move. I need a clear shot."

Amora made an irritated sound and teleported them to another rooftop. "You know he wants to talk to you. He goes out looking for you, like, once a week."

"It's not once a week," Bucky replied, aiming over the ledge again.

"Oh? So you know how often he looks for you?" Amora replied.

Bucky blushed. "That's not what I meant. He couldn't possibly have time to-- Stop breaking my concentration!" He shouted. He aimed an angry shot at Doom, which Loki swiftly blocked with a wave of his hand. The god glared and waved his hand again and a small torrent of water was dropped on Bucky. "Son of a bitch!"

Amora slapped him against the back of the head. "Watch your mouth, mortal! The Queen of Asgard is a lovely woman."

Bucky growled under his breath. "The hell is everyone picking on me for?"

"You should know better than to ruin Loki's fun. That was your fault," Amora replied. She summoned a bottle of nail polish and began the process of painting her nails.

Bucky pushed her, making her smudge her nails. She glared at him, kicking out her foot and making him roll across the rooftop. She stared at her nails in irritation before the green tint of her magic flashed over them, removing the mess and perfecting painting her entire hand. She smiled as she admired her work. Bucky grumbled as he returned to his earlier spot. "Why even bother doing it by hand when you can just do that?" He asked in irritation.

"Why stalk the Captain when you can just talk to him in person?" Amora replied sarcastically.

"I am not stalking him!"

"You are pathetic," Loki said, suddenly standing behind him.

Bucky whipped around to glare at him. "What do you want?"

"The battle is over," Loki answered simply.

Bucky peered over the edge and sure enough, Doom was gone, leaving nothing but The Avengers and bits of broken bots. Bucky pouted as he stared down at them, pushing his weapon to the side. "What? Done playing with your new friend?"

"Don't pout you useless fool," Loki scolded him. "I can push you off this roof right now and leave you with no choice but to be nursed back to health by your stupid hero infatuation."

"Don't be mean, Loki." Amora scolded dispassionately, using magic to paint the nails on her other hand.

Bucky sputtered a moment before standing and shouting, "I am not infatuated!"

"Alright, then. I'll take your word for it." The altered voice of Iron Man said.

Bucky fell back onto the ground, groaning as he covered his face. "Why are you even here?" Bucky grumbled.

"Did I forget to mention that we're having dinner together?" Amora asked.

"Since when?" Bucky yelled..

"Well, since Doom was in the city, he asked Loki if he wanted to get together." Amora explained.

"That's what they just did!" Bucky complained.

"No, that was just work," Loki waved him off. "That was planned ages ago. What, you think I just attack this city on a whim?'

"Yes!" Bucky yelled.

Loki grinned. "Well, I do, but Doom does not."

"How does that explain him?" Bucky questioned tiredly, still holding his hands over his face. He was taking deep breaths, trying to calm his own frustration and exasperation.

"As we were fighting, we made plans." Loki told them.

"And I promised last time that I would cook for him." Amora said. She stood up and stretched, smiling at him. "You should know that I don't eat human cooking."

"You're going to die." Bucky told him, finally uncovering his face. "And how the hell did you make dinner plans while fighting?"

Tony raised his face plate and grinned. Loki gave Bucky a pitying look. "You are an utterly inefficient creature, aren't you? You have no inkling of the concept of multitasking."

"You were in the middle of a battle!" Bucky yelled. "With other Avengers!"

"Well their Queen already knows that he was speaking with Loki," Amora chimed in.

"She's not their-- whatever," Bucky sighed, shoulders slumping. "How did you!" He pointed at Amora. "Know that he!" He pointed at Tony. "Would be joining us for dinner if they made plans during the battle."

Amora smiled at him smiled at him and pat his head. "Don't worry about that."

"Are we gonna get this party on the road, on what?" Tony asked.

"What did you even tell the other Avengers?" Bucky asked exasperatedly.

"Told them I had a date with our greatest foe." Tony replied. Bucky face palmed. "Natasha glared at me suspiciously, Clint told me to punch Doom in the face for him, and Steve said I shouldn't talk so badly about my own company." Tony shook his head. "They think either the worst or the best of me, but damned if I can tell which."

"So this is a date, is it?" Loki asked with a raised eyebrow. "Had I known that, I would have worn my best armor."

"Aw, you don't need to get all dolled up for me," Tony replied. "It'll just take longer to get to the good part if you have all that armor on." He winked at Loki.

"I don't want to hear this." Bucky groaned.

"Oh? So you're finally ready to take your rightful place at my feet?" Loki asked.

Amora placed her hand on Bucky's shoulder and teleported them all away. Loki and Tony were still going back and forth, but Bucky stopped listening to it as he looked around. "Uh... where are we?"

"Doom's embassy," Loki answered distractedly. "We just went over this."

"We are actually having dinner with Doom?" Bucky questioned. "Does that guy even eat? He's always in armor."

"Of course he eats," Loki answered. "He's human. All you creatures do is stuff yourselves with your imitation foodstuffs." Loki rolled his eyes.

"I meant... nevermind." Bucky sighed. "How are you okay with this? You were just fighting the guy." He asked Tony.

"I've got my suit if I need it," Tony shrugged as he stepped out of his suit. It closed up behind him, following him as he and Loki began to walk off. "Plus, I have Jarvis! Right, buddy?"

"Affirmative, Sir." The suit answered.

Amora tugged Bucky's arm. "Come along. You don't want to get lost, do you? This place is very large."

"How often do you guys hang out with Doom?" Tony questioned.

"Very sparingly," Amora answered. "Bucky here has never had the pleasure."

"Every so often," Loki answered. "Victor and I are rather good friends when we can stand each other."

"I'm thinking I'll make a cake," Amora said.

"For dinner?" Bucky asked.

Amora nodded. "What? Something wrong with that?"

"You don't think you should make something more filling?" Bucky asked.

When they finally got to the kitchen, Loki pulled on Tony's arm. "I assume you have this under control?" Loki said.

"Yes. Yes. Go... be Loki." Amora waved him off.

Loki grinned. "I'll see you for dinner." He told them, then Loki disappeared with Tony and his suit.

Amora paused a moment before turning to Bucky. "We should get you a play date, too. Something that doesn't involve sniping from rooftops."

"I'm going to my room!" Bucky announced.

"You don't know where your room is." Amora pointed out.

"I'll figure it out!" He yelled back.


End file.
